Rich Ellenberger: Be true to yourself
2016-06-07
For Pride Month, Johnson Space Center is honoring a few employees whose character, courage and commitment have helped shape them into the people they are today.
“Don’t let other people tell you who you are.”
That quote by Diane Sawyer is the theme for Rich Ellenberger’s life.
Ellenberger married his partner of 21 years, Chris Klecka, on June 29, 2015, just three days after the historic Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the country. They weren’t waiting for the decision, however. Ellenberger and Klecka were already on their way to Colorado Springs to get married there.
Ellenberger’s immediate thought upon hearing the news was, “It’s about time!”
President Obama’s speech from the Rose Garden on that day is something that still has the power to affect him.
“Sometimes there are days like this, when that slow, steady effort is rewarded with justice that arrives like a thunderbolt,” Obama said.
“That’s what it was,” Ellenberger said, “A thunderbolt.”
Ellenberger and Klecka were married by a Justice of the Peace, and she told the couple it was her honor to marry them.
“Can you believe it?” Ellenberger said in wonderment. “She was the one who was honored.”
Did marriage change anything after living with his partner for 21 years?
“Before marriage, I thought I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me I was committed,” Ellenberger said. “But now, that piece of paper really means something to me. It gives me a sense of pride and a deeper commitment to my marriage. It made our partnership stronger.”
Working for NASA has been Ellenberger’s dream since he was a child. Ellenberger is currently the International Space Station Payload Human Factors manager. He’s been a human factors specialist for 18 years.
“I work with the most wonderful people in the world,” Ellenberger said. “They see me for who I am.”
Laura Duvall, his co-worker, arranged an after-work wedding party for Ellenberger and Klecka, and 14 of his coworkers attended along with their spouses. There was a wedding cake and a card signed by over 20 well-wishers.
As Ellenberger explained, “They were doing something normal—throwing a wedding party for a friend. But to Chris and me it meant the world, because it meant acceptance. It meant that other people saw us and accepted us for who we are, and it didn’t matter who we loved.”
Such acceptance means even more when Ellenberger thinks back to what he’s been through.
“Anti-gay slurs used to be common in the ‘90s, even here at NASA,” Ellenberger said.
One day, he’d had enough and confronted a co-worker who was using anti-gay slurs. He didn’t mean to come out, but he’s glad that he did and has been staunchly defending himself and gay people ever since.
“I never wanted to be an activist,” Ellenberger said. “I just want to be myself.”
Ellenberger says he doesn’t let the judgmental and critical people get to him. In fact, the animosity reminds him to love even more deeply. Now he tells his husband “I love you” every day and hugs him a little tighter. He refuses to let the negativity affect him or his relationship with his husband.
Ellenberger sees anti-gay sentiment decreasing at work and believes society is less tolerant of bigoted slurs and actions. He feels society is changing and that the Houston election of Annise Parker as the first openly lesbian mayor of a large city is proof. “Finally, we’ve come to a point where enough people are able to judge her on her suitability for mayor instead of who she loves,” Ellenberger said. “We value people for their service to their community.”
When Ellenberger was a teenager, he struggled with his sexuality. Strong in his faith, he spent a long time in prayer and intense listening.
"Being gay is a gift, in a way. It makes you ask ‘Who are you?’” Ellenberger said. “You have to search yourself moreso and stronger than the general population. It gives us a more merciful view of the world."
For those who are considering coming out, Ellenberger encourages them to be true to themselves and to their faith and values. His hope is for people in the LGBT community to have enough self-esteem to accept themselves and their sexuality and to seek out healthy relationships.
Michelle Fraser-Page
NASA Johnson Space Center
“Don’t let other people tell you who you are.”
That quote by Diane Sawyer is the theme for Rich Ellenberger’s life.
Ellenberger married his partner of 21 years, Chris Klecka, on June 29, 2015, just three days after the historic Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the country. They weren’t waiting for the decision, however. Ellenberger and Klecka were already on their way to Colorado Springs to get married there.
Ellenberger’s immediate thought upon hearing the news was, “It’s about time!”
President Obama’s speech from the Rose Garden on that day is something that still has the power to affect him.
“Sometimes there are days like this, when that slow, steady effort is rewarded with justice that arrives like a thunderbolt,” Obama said.
“That’s what it was,” Ellenberger said, “A thunderbolt.”
Ellenberger and Klecka were married by a Justice of the Peace, and she told the couple it was her honor to marry them.
“Can you believe it?” Ellenberger said in wonderment. “She was the one who was honored.”
Did marriage change anything after living with his partner for 21 years?
“Before marriage, I thought I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me I was committed,” Ellenberger said. “But now, that piece of paper really means something to me. It gives me a sense of pride and a deeper commitment to my marriage. It made our partnership stronger.”
Working for NASA has been Ellenberger’s dream since he was a child. Ellenberger is currently the International Space Station Payload Human Factors manager. He’s been a human factors specialist for 18 years.
“I work with the most wonderful people in the world,” Ellenberger said. “They see me for who I am.”
Laura Duvall, his co-worker, arranged an after-work wedding party for Ellenberger and Klecka, and 14 of his coworkers attended along with their spouses. There was a wedding cake and a card signed by over 20 well-wishers.
As Ellenberger explained, “They were doing something normal—throwing a wedding party for a friend. But to Chris and me it meant the world, because it meant acceptance. It meant that other people saw us and accepted us for who we are, and it didn’t matter who we loved.”
Such acceptance means even more when Ellenberger thinks back to what he’s been through.
“Anti-gay slurs used to be common in the ‘90s, even here at NASA,” Ellenberger said.
One day, he’d had enough and confronted a co-worker who was using anti-gay slurs. He didn’t mean to come out, but he’s glad that he did and has been staunchly defending himself and gay people ever since.
“I never wanted to be an activist,” Ellenberger said. “I just want to be myself.”
Ellenberger says he doesn’t let the judgmental and critical people get to him. In fact, the animosity reminds him to love even more deeply. Now he tells his husband “I love you” every day and hugs him a little tighter. He refuses to let the negativity affect him or his relationship with his husband.
Ellenberger sees anti-gay sentiment decreasing at work and believes society is less tolerant of bigoted slurs and actions. He feels society is changing and that the Houston election of Annise Parker as the first openly lesbian mayor of a large city is proof. “Finally, we’ve come to a point where enough people are able to judge her on her suitability for mayor instead of who she loves,” Ellenberger said. “We value people for their service to their community.”
When Ellenberger was a teenager, he struggled with his sexuality. Strong in his faith, he spent a long time in prayer and intense listening.
"Being gay is a gift, in a way. It makes you ask ‘Who are you?’” Ellenberger said. “You have to search yourself moreso and stronger than the general population. It gives us a more merciful view of the world."
For those who are considering coming out, Ellenberger encourages them to be true to themselves and to their faith and values. His hope is for people in the LGBT community to have enough self-esteem to accept themselves and their sexuality and to seek out healthy relationships.
Michelle Fraser-Page
NASA Johnson Space Center