Celebrate National Engineers Week With Wisecracks

How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? Tell them it is "impossible." The world would be a different place if it were not for engineers' extraordinary ability to not only think outside the box but create a new box.

For the week of Feb. 19, 2023, NASA's Johnson Space Center celebrated the creativity and ingenuity of engineers dedicated to helping humanity for all. In honor of National Engineers Week, Johnson recognizes the men and women responsible for leading some of NASA’s greatest achievements. 

The engineering directorate shared their favorite jokes; now it is time to show the world.

Engineers are indeed known for their sense of humor, so here we go! 

Engineering Jokes for National Engineers Week

• Did you know that 3.14% of sailors are Pi-rates?
• Q. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? A. That hertz.
• Q. Why did the white bear melt in water? A. Because it was polar.
• Q. Why did the software engineer quit his job? A. He did not get arrays.
• Q. How do people organize parties at NASA? A. They planet.
• Q. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? A. Shorts.
• Q. Which football team was mathematically the best of all time? A. The Houston Eulers.
• Q. How can you determine the hazard of lunar dust? A. I do not know; it depends on the speck.
• Q. Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up? A. Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
• Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. That is a hardware issue.
• Q. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? A. Nothing. You cannot cross a scalar with a vector.
• Q. What is the definition of an engineer? A. Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you do not understand.
• Q. How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Well, before we can answer that let us get some basic info: How high up is the light bulb? What type of light bulb? Do you need to be there when we remove the light bulb? What is the charge code? What is your budget? When is the due date? What do you want to do with the old lightbulb?
• Q. Most engineers are familiar with Newton's second law, his law of gravitation, Kirchhoff's laws, and so forth. But do you know about Cole's Law? A. It is thinly sliced cabbage with carrots, mayonnaise, and a little vinegar.
• Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?" Wind turbine 2: "I am a big metal fan."
• Engineer Wife: "Honey, can we talk?" Engineer: "Yes, of course. I think we have had that ability since childhood."
• Some materials' adjectives use the same root word as their noun, like the adjective describing metal, which is metallic. However, this is not the case for the adjective describing iron, which is ironic.
• There are ten types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who do not.
• Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love. The wedding was not much, but the reception was excellent. 
• To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• With all the new space commercialization, I want to be the first to open a restaurant in space. The critics would probably say the food was good but lacked atmosphere.
• A photon checks into a hotel, and the receptionist asks if he needs help with his luggage. "No thanks," says the photon. "I'm traveling light."
• We have all heard of the famous mathematician who invented calculus. What is less well known is that a delicious bakery treat was named in his honor. It is called Fig Leibniz.
• A programmer's wife asks him, 'Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.' The programmer goes to the store and returns home with 12 loaves of bread. 'They had eggs,' he explained.
• Newton, Pascal, and Hertz are playing hide and seek, and it is Hertz's turn to seek. He covers his eyes and starts counting down. Pascal hides behind a tree. Newton stands and thinks for a minute, then grabs a piece of chalk and draws a one-meter line in front of him. He then draws three more lines so that he is standing in a box. When Hertz finishes counting, he opens his eyes, sees Newton, and says, "I found Newton!" Newton responds, "No, you didn't. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"